Posted 03 July 2007 - 03:40 AM
"I'm wondering right now what people say when they say they love someone. Do they really love that person, simply because that person is that person, or do they love that person's looks or mannerisms or characteristics, etc.? I find it hard to believe that one can love another simply because another is who he is. That would be like saying I love pizza because it's pizza. What!? No. I love the way pizza smells and tastes and the way the cheese melts in my mouth. I don't love pizza, I love it's characteristics. Besides, when two people fall out of love, they don't stop loving that person because that person is not who he is. That person still retains the title of himself, but instead it was that person's looks or mannerisms or characteristics that made the first person fall out of love with him. Love starts with some sort of seduction, person A likes this and that about person B. Inversely, love dies when the other person doesn't merit our love because they don't look good enough anymore or they burp too loud or their hair keeps clogging up the shower."
Posted 03 July 2007 - 04:41 AM
And about the word love, I think it's used way too often in English, as with pizza and stuff like that. In most cases when we say "love" I think we actually mean "like".
The difference between like and love as I see it is that while to like something or someone is based on who you are and what characteristics suits you best, to love someone is something based on choice. You choose to love someone. That choice might origin from many things of course. You can love someone because you like someone and that loving that person will result in a good relationship which you would like to be in (almost seems a bit selfish if you ask me). Or you can love someone because you want to be a person who loves others. Maybe you love because you want to be loved back, there are plenty of reasons for the "act" of loving another person. That's an important thing about love I think. It's something you do, it's not a feeling, maybe it can be based on a feeling, but I don't think love itself is a feeling. It's a choice to put another persons best before your own.
This "choice" to love someone is then displayed in consequences. The Bible has a good description of these imo:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
That's my thoughts about it anyway...
Posted 03 July 2007 - 08:13 AM
Good luck man.
Posted 03 July 2007 - 01:42 PM
You can't choose to have a smile brought to your face when you see them it happens because of your feelings, their presence causes an emotional reaction. If you live your life choosing who you love then you're not living at all.
Posted 03 July 2007 - 03:38 PM
Well, have you tried? Have you ever decided to wholeheartedly love someone who you didn't have any feelings for in the first place? The feelings will grow with time. It does work.
Of course we can have emotional reactions, and that's all good. But we're not entirely powerless either, we can choose some things. I believe it's possible to love every single human being. I believe it's already been done actually
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