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Forums \ General forum \ 1K of Jokes

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

1 year ago

#61

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malvin

the blondes jokes where pretty good. everything else pretty much sucked (espacially the first one).

anyway, lets shed a little light on the situation

100 niggers (i had to use the word to create the comic effect) walk through the desert and stumble upon Aladin's lamp. They rub it, the geenie comes out and promises to fulfil one wish for each of them. The first one wishes to became white. The next one wishes the same thing, and so on until the 99th nigger. The 100th nigger thinks a bit, then wishes for all to be black again.

A man is examined by the the doctor and finds out he doesn't have long to live. Hopeless, the man asks the doctor how much more he has to live.
- 10, says the doctor.
man: - 10 what? years, months, weeks?
doc: - 9, 8, 7...

A guy goes to a parashute store and wants to buy a parashute.
guy: - are this parashutes safe?
salesman: - well, nobody came to complain.

What does a fly say inside a blondes head?

Why don't blondes eat bananas?

How do you turn a chicken into a pitbull?

This post was edited by its author @ 1 year ago

1 year ago

#62

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Tulex

Why is having sex in a boat similar to American beer?

1 year ago

#63

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Devilking

"I haven't sold one tractor all month," a tractor salesman tells his friend.

"That's nothing compared to my problem," his buddy replies.
"I was milking my cow when its tail whips around and hits me in the forehead, so I grabbed some string and tied its tail up to the rafters.
Then I go back to milk it and it kicks me in the head with its right hind leg, so I grab some rope and tie its one leg up to the rafters.
I go back to try and milk it again when it kicks me in the head with its left hind leg, so I tie its other leg up to the rafters.
Then my wife comes walking in and I'll tell ya, if you can convince her that I was trying to milk that cow, I'll buy a tractor off ya

1 year ago

#64

CaspeR_

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

1 year ago

#65

FiEndFaNaTiC

This comment has been censored ("nuked") by the GosuGamers Crew.

1 year ago

#66

aimaimaim

#65 LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Blizzard in now on a DISASTER in SLOW-MOTION ..

1 year ago

#67

HaXxXeL

Dead baby jokes are the best.

What gets smaller and smaller as it gets louder and louder?

-A baby in a trash compactor.

-What do you call a dead baby with broken jaws.

-Deepthroat.

How do you stop a baby from choking?

-You take your dick out of it's mouth.

More distasteful jokes? You've got it!

A small girl is sitting on a bench crying. A man walks by and notices the little girl. He asks her: What's the matter, little girl? Why are you crying? She replies: Our house burned down... and my parents are dead.... sniffle.... and all my siblings are dead too. The man shrugs, unzips his pants and says: Dayum, this sure ain't your lucky day.

A small girl and a man is walking through a dark forest. The little girl cries out: It's so dark and creepy here! The man replies: Pfft, I'm the one who has to walk home ALONE!

What's the best thing about having sex with a 7-years old? You can close your eyes and pretend she's 4.

And moderators, don't come bullshitting about me promoting pedophilia. Just a few good laughs, that's all.

This post was edited by its author @ 1 year ago

1 year ago

#68

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Small stars represents one level - This user is on level 14

SK.MrOw

.......

trolling...instincts...tingling...

i'll refrain...

♔EMPRESS♔

1 year ago

#69

jo_111090

LOL @ 28 :)

1 year ago

#70

GigaGenesis

#58
first of all there is nothing that even remotely spreads hate in my comment.and who called you a retard?!
secondly I'm not a muslim and I don't like the religion islam but I don't hate muslim people so I'm not trying to defend my religion I just stated my opinion like you did

PS:thanks for saving me the trouble of arguing with you again,I don't feel obliged to do that anymore considering your post

1 year ago

#71

aimaimaim

#68 TROLL NAO!

Blizzard in now on a DISASTER in SLOW-MOTION ..

1 year ago

#72

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synergis

#63 and 64 were good :D
And Haxel, chill a little even if it is funny

1 year ago

#73

GreatBigMouth

This comment has been censored ("nuked") by the GosuGamers Crew.

1 year ago

#74

tschuul

#57 is damn nice

1 year ago

#75

Bagir

2 men got caught by umbo dumbo tribe. They ask the 1st one "do u wanna get umbo dumbo'd or just die?" he thought "c'mon nothings worse than death so i should go ahead with umbo dumbo"... he got assfucked by whole tribe until he doesn't need to press anymore when shit, and walks like a goose. they asked same thing to 2nd. he thought "i should just die rather than getting umbo dumbo'd"... tribe chief said "umbo dumbo him until he's dead"...

1 year ago

#76

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inco

If Frodo was protoss instead of hobbit, he'd 1a2a3a'd his way to the vulcano and make Sauron ragequit before the 2 minute mark.

1 year ago

#77

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ReiKo

2010-03-14 18:55, Bagir wrote:
2 men got caught by umbo dumbo tribe. They ask the 1st one "do u wanna get umbo dumbo'd or just die?" he thought "c'mon nothings worse than death so i should go ahead with umbo dumbo"... he got assfucked by whole tribe until he doesn't need to press anymore when shit, and walks like a goose. they asked same thing to 2nd. he thought "i should just die rather than getting umbo dumbo'd"... tribe chief said "umbo dumbo him until he's dead"...

This is good one.

Fox is hunting for a rabbit and her rabbit children. She chases them into the woods and all rabbits but one little rabbit gets stuck between trees. Fox comes to him and he pleeds: "Please Fox, let me eat this carrot that I'm holding and then you can later.".

Fox ignores and says : "Pleasure first, everything else later". And she eats him.

Again, the same situation but this time Fox suddenly slips and got stuck between two big trees that are leading to rabbit's house. Daddy rabbit who was runing from her seen this and he came to stucked Fox. He came behind her and put down his trousers. Fox pleeded: "Please, let me out I will never eat rabbits again - I will go vegetarian". Rabit responded while geting into a position: "Pleasure first, everything else - later!"

1 year ago

#78

FusionGrape

On one sunny day a father whale and his son Jack were swimming together when a fishermen boat came. The fishermen trapped and killed the father whale. That day the son promised to himself that when he has grown up and when he sees the boat next time he will destroy it..

15 years later Jack had became an adult and he was swimming with his girlfriend Carla. Jack saw the same boat which had hunted Jack's father. Jack told the sad story to Carla what had happened to his father and asked if she would help him to revenge to the fishermen and she accepted. Jack had a plan. "Lets go under the boat and blow air from our holes as much as possible so the boat will fall over" he said to Carla. Carla accepted and then they fulfilled the plan. They blowed air from their holes and the boat fell over. Fishermen fell to the sea andthey were forced to began to swim to the nearest shore. But Jack wasnt satisfied because the crew wouldnt die. He said to Carla "No this is wrong! They have to die because my dad died too! Lets eat the fishermen!". Carla got really mad and replied to him "NO! I was ok with the blow-up but there is no chance in hell that I'll eat the seamen!"

:E

1 year ago

#79