Deceiving Work Life

Hastebreak @ 3rd February 2012 21:09 (Read 15,491 times).
So it may seemed like an introduction, people, in life, would talk about their passion; what they do; what they want, I want to say I have never been the one to talk about myself. I think, to me if there were a time where questions are asked, I guess in that time the question, itself will be answered.

Unfortunately, the time has come for me as I sit here, a story of life written, now shared with you. I want to be very brief about what I do in life, I am a Financial Analyst, I graduated from Vienna University of Economics and Business. The time came when I finished studies I realized I am a working adult now, finding a job wasn't easy. Eventually I did, it was a Bank. It wasn't hard, but the interview I did managed through with traits I've inherit from YouTube's Google Interview, and some other.

June 13, 2011, my first day of work begin. I haven't went home since ages, I was told that the traffic is terrible so I woked5 a.m everyday, get myself freshen up, bath, took some bread and head out. I would get myself stuck from my house to my work place as early as 6, imagine that. And in that first day, after what I thought I would make it early 30 minutes before work, I ended up in time. 8.30 a.m. Since then, life was a living hell, I was drained of my living soul as my living dead body walk the face of the earth. As we all know a fixed working hour is scheduled for your work life, what we do not know is that if we actually managed to complete our task, we get to go back.

I hated my life so bad, I wanted to erase the present time and resume back my studies. The working hours went as early as I started work, and the next thing I know is that I came back 12, or 1 a.m in the morning. I was so dry, I barely had enough sleep, I did not eat well, I didn't work out, nor did I exercise one bit. I was so stressful I became alcoholic, I smoke whenever possible and I lead myself an unhealthy lifestyle. To make things worst, the manager and top positions would give loads of work to you, since the beginning of your day, and the end, yes that's right, the end phase of your working hours, at 6 p.m and you have to stay back and complete your job just so they won't burn you down. Each and everyday I lived with tension, and even when in sleep I was reminded of my work, daymare, and nightmare.

At the start of each week, I became apparent and hated mondays, from there to fridays I cursed the day I work. From there on, I feel the joy of freedom. It's as if you're reborn. A new life awaits at the end of Friday, I felt the joy of relieve. I wanted to do whatever things possible, meeting my friends after years of separation, anything. And in the end of Sunday, once again, I became a beast. I became an as*hole, an unwanted thrash pseudo-psychotic, non-deserving, illiterate mad citizen. I became the grumpy old man in your neighborhood complaining about everything. But I contained that, all in my heart, waiting.. To scream one day, to let loose to something I didn't like, but I can't. I didn't cry, I remember how depressed I was.

A month came by, I was overjoyed by my first paycheck ^_^. I went in to another bank, few days later I came noticed the amount given wasn't the amount sufficient for my living. Rotting hell! It was even less than two thousand, adding the amount of tolls I passed, car parks I paid count hourly, patrol and car maintenance, and food. I wanted to die, I calculated my expenses, not doing any shi*, it wasn't even sufficient for a month's living, no unwanted buyings, no extra cash for vacation, no nothing. Thank god my old man's willing to take me under his wing still.

Just a month of work after studies, I decided to go viral. I needed to get out, I couldn't take it anymore. While people in life were afraid to get fired, I somehow got myself out of work. I remember fighting with my manager, I love that moment; I somehow got the relieve of tension, I release everything at my manager. Ah, great moments.. I recalled he threatened me of getting fired, I just loose himself and made him wanting to sack me, it wasn't a hook point, neither to tempt him, or provoke him. I egoistically said how suck the structural management was, and to begin with, that building was a mistake. I wanted him to punch me, to kick me, to abusely hit me.. Just so I can report to the police, and to the court.

I want to say more, but unfortunately I can't. It's now 4 a.m in the morning, and I'm tired, I have yet to share my experience of my present still, which, is becoming increasingly better. But foremost, always never expect anything. Also I want to say pick wisely of what you tend to study (Not because I regretted studying Accounting and Finance, I liked it actually but I hated my job), because in the end, what you see is not what the world see. Every now and then, I have receive more complains from my friends than myself, saying how terrible their life is. Take this for example, a good friend of mine since high school took Biotech but research firm did not took him under their wing. After a miserable year he became a lecturer in hopes to get into a biotech firm by earning enough money while studying masters and PhD later on. Again, I would like to emphasize, education isn't really a way to buy out of your life. To future students, please, choose wisely what you intended to do.

This is Hastebreak, signing out.

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